The excuses for not updating the blog seeming increasingly inane by the moment, I finally resigned to brute force. I forced myself to squeeze out every bit of creativity from the crevices of my left hemisphere. I whisked off an old notebook, managed to find an unscribbled half a page (very encouraging!), and sat down to put my cello gripper to paper. I shut my eyes for a few seconds trying to focus my writing energy when the facilities in my brain burst out laughing. The creative thoughts department (T) chair was the first to interrupt the raucous outburst and speak up, as always-
“You silly girl! Haven’t I barked enough that this grand buildup of yours can never make you churn out as much as a word? I think you should dialogue with me, set some ‘thoughts’ (wink wink) in motion…..what say?”
I sighed “Thanks for the lamest pun ever…..but I don’t care to haggle with you now…..its the words department that is being a pain in the wrong place…..bunch of sloths….they never seem to get work done on time. Vwls i, e and o ar ff n a vacatn t th bahamas…th cnsnants can’t sm t functn aln….you get the point!”
The chair of the words department was enraged “ Don’t you point a finger at my babies! Theirs is a high-stress job unlike department T here whose job is to daydream, or the thoughts-to-words (P) processing unit whose job is to fedex the thought….and by the way I haven’t received any shipment today, so stop breathing down my neck!”
“WHAT!” I shrieked “ What do you mean you haven’t received any packages…..Is Dept P down too?”
“Ma’m, the top ‘P eers’ have vowed to support the anti-corruption crusader Anna Hazare ! They are out on a rally for the noble cause! Wish I could join them too! Hail Shri Anna Hazare ji!”
I couldn’t believe this blithering idiot was part of my brain. Anna Hazare controlling the workings of my brain…..so much for democracy! Considering their allegiance, under the table incentives clearly wouldn’t work with the ‘P eers’ (as if the name wasn’t ridiculous enough). As it dawned upon me that my left brain had turned into this bureaucratic quagmire, I thought of-
“I told you so…..I told you so….U had to come back to me” pranced the chair of T, much to my annoyance
“Now for my classic sermon…..” Oh God! This was just what I needed “There’s no need to get worked up…you need to snip off the slack here and there and you will be able to write like a dream” that wasn’t so bad “but why do you care about blogging? Hardly two souls read it anyway….have you given singing a thought? I could use a song or two ….how about doing the cha cha cha?” Aaaaaaaah…enough!
It’s so true what they say about writer’s block!